Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Within Myself

It feels like I'm floating,
and leaving behind a paperless trail.
My spirit is crying out 'to each it's own'
as it departs from my body.
My mind is stuck in the space between
everywhere and nowhere at all,
My tongue throbs from all the words left unsaid.
My throat burns from all the shouting.
I plant my hands hard against my ears
but I can still read your lips
so I close my eyes aswell.

It feels like I'm always alone,
because everyone just stares at my hollow body.
You ask me what my love language is
I don't have one.
You ask me if I love you,
and I say I do without a problem
because the problem isn't that I'm unable to confess my love
the problem is that I choke whenever I try to swallow yours.

It feels like there's a clock wrapped tightly around my throat,
but I'm pretty sure my hands strangle me tighter.
I'm walking on an ocean of forgotten promises,
and basking in the white sunlight of your lies.
I'm on the edge of perfection
yet jagged pieces of each of my frustrations find a way across my wrists.

It feels like its all my fault,
even though the blame isn't mine.
My hatred burns brighter than your love ever did.
Your hugs burn my skin
but I don't try to settle the fire,
that is why my arms rests by my sides.

It feels like what I feel
can never,
will never,
 measure up to even a grain of the answer you're looking for.
So I nod my head, swallow my tongue,
and stand there waiting for my emotions 
and thoughts to be in agreement.
I slip out of my body
 and allow my spirit to shout out every vulgar profanity.

Fuck You

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